A Lost Love

“No , don’t run, else you’ll fall. Abbu won’t pick you up again, come here and wear your shoes.”

My eyes would then be half – cupped by her tiny, little hands with a hope to wrongly guess the innocent sleight of hand. Soon, when her desperation would turn out to be true, her bubbly laughter would bring life to the dead street – “Ammi, it’s me, Sarah, I fooled you again!”

Like a silver streak on a deep blue sky, her presence would make our days livelier and cheerful. That day, she moaned, not to go again, to a place we called school and she felt trapped.

 “Ammi, we’ll play together but I don’t want to go to school today.” – her brook of innocence pulled out the laughter from me.

“Sarah jaan, we’ll play once you’re back, I promise.”  Watching her go with a burden on her back, I decided to take her out to a new play house, built in our neighborhood.

But the fate knew not how terribly it would change our lives. It seemed too selfish to take her away from a place she belonged, from all her heart. That day, the shower spilled not from the skies but from the eyes of the child-bearers.

“Ayesha, your Sarah is in trouble. Begum, save your son!” – the neighbors whined. The street was filled with ruckus and the mothers ran towards the school to save their blood. None knew the heartless crime committed by the terrorists.  The school building was nowhere to be seen. The pungent smell was hard to bear and the trash made the walk difficult.

 It left no trace of life, a dead end, all would say. The world threw spits of curses on their fates but I stayed silent. My mind flew to the places where I could meet her, touch her again, carry her on my lap or see her sleep peacefully. Among the black bricks and sticky cement, I did not try to find her out. She was gone, way before I could try. She was transient, spilled colors at once and went away all together.

I stayed there for hours or maybe days. People came to rescue us from the curfew. It was then I went back home and could feel her spirit embracing me. Her clothes, tiny shoes, dolls and bears staring at me, waiting for an answer, waiting for her to come and play with them.  But this time, I wished not to move them away, they bore her smell, joy and touch, they were never meant to be washed away.

Days have passed, her laughter still rows with the hot summer wind and her sweet baby scent doesn’t leave her abode.